I just want to disappear forever
Thank you love, your prayers are very much appreciated here ❤️❤️❤️
This changed me
well damn(via walkerflexasranger)
I found out today that my Maw Maw had a stroke…two weeks ago…because I called home to talk, not because I was notified of this information. I should be furious that no one in the family thought to call me, but instead I’m just hurt that no one actually cared enough to do so. Everyone knows how close I am and always have been with my Maw Maw. She was standing right next to my Mom when I was born, the ONLY grandchild who’s birth she personally witnessed. She taught me how to bake from scratch before I could even fully comprehend addition and subtraction or how to ride a bike. She taught me how to measure a body, how to sew, how to craft, how to grow a beautiful garden, and how to maintain it. She taught me true strength, common sense, how to maintain composure when everyone else expects you to crack, how to be classy and sexy at the same time, all the way down to how to ace a multiple choice test. This woman has taught me so much more than I could ever even realize yet, and today I was painfully reminded of her mortality. A woman who in my eyes has always seemed so immortal is slowly beginning to deteriorate and there is nothing I can do about it. I had this big plan for Will and I to go off to California and experience new things once he got out of the Corps. I’d finally go to college and he’d find an awesome contracting job with helos. Now, my heart is telling me California may have to wait. After losing my Paw Paw the way I did and the circumstances surrounding his last months, I don’t know if I can live through that again. I feel like if I don’t go home, I’ll carry that regret forever too. I’m not ready to lose her yet. I CAN’T lose her yet. There’s still so much left to learn and I have so much love left to give her. This is not okay.